bootism-shoe-religion

What a complex question that educators face on a daily basis. We had a chance to grade some papers in class. There was quite a range of grades given to the same writing samples. Teachers are individuals like everybody else. We have our own idiosyncrasies about writing. Some of my classmates focused on mechanics, some focused on ideas/content, and some focused on organization. I think the most important aspect of writing is ideas. I think that this might be due to the fact that I have worked with students with disabilities and they have problems with all parts of writing. The hardest part for these students is to get ideas on paper. The other stuff can be worked on later.
I didn’t realize how subjective grading writing is. An essay can be graded in so many different ways. It all depends on who is doing the grading. Also another factor is it the first essay or the hundredth essay that they are grading. This can change between essays. There should be consistency in grading. Teachers should look for the same things on every paper. A test for teachers is to grade all papers without any names on them. Then grade them with names on them. If the same paper does not get the same grade then you can tell that you are being biased based on the student, and not on the writing. I think that teachers should do this every so often to become more aware of how slack that they are getting in your grading. An idea to stay away from subjectivity is to use rubrics. The rubrics give teachers a standard to go by. There is less chance of grading more heavily on one thing more than another. By giving each section total points the teacher and students know ahead of time what is expected of them. There is an awesome sight that designs rubrics of all kinds. I spent sometime designing a few rubrics for fun. The website is http://rubistar.4teachers.org/index.php
Grading one of my worst fears as a teacher. I feel that I’m inadequate in assessing students properly. Grading can be so subjective in any subject not only in writing. I worry about are my students learning what they need to learn to go on. I know that I will be effective teachers, but grading scares me. I think once i’m in the classroom and grading routinely then I may feel more comfortable.

Nancy Patterson is a professor at Grand Valley State University. She came to talk about “No child left behind”. I thought I had a grasp on what this new law was. Boy was I wrong. I did like “no child left behind” in the first place. But after Nancy’s presentation I like it even less. I never liked standardized testing. But I felt that there really wasn’t anything I could do about it. I had the belief that there is no other way so we are stuck with standardized testing. The measure is designed to give a common measure of student performance. The measurements compare individual students’ performance. I didn’t realize that the purpose of standardized testing was defined as “to label people as bright or not bright, as worthy academically or not worthy.” This is just bogus. I just am speechless regarding this definition. Why test in the first place? The government wants something to show for America’s education, numbers are seductive, and accountability of schools. The accountability is all about keeping teachers, administrators and districts in line. If there is a consistent trend of failing standardized testing the government comes in and takes over. All the teachers and administrators are fired and the school is reorganized.
What is wrong with NCLB? It pits the rich against the poor. There is a threat of withholding money from schools. To get money must write grants that explain a scientific based instruction. The creators believe that America is made up of cookie cutter children. There is no where in the world that have cookie cutter children. What’s the standard? Whose standard? School districts are finding ways to make loop holes. One is that they are lowering the score to pass. For example the score was 12 now need an 8 to pass. This says that oh school is doing better. Oh NCLB is working. This is not really true. If we continue to lower the score to pass then we are not only hurting ourselves we are hurting students. I didn’t realize how expensive administering the MEAP was. It costs 30 million dollars for students to take the MEAP for one week. This is darn expensive. Where is this money going to? Are people making money off the MEAP? If they are then the government needs to find a alternative test that is cheaper or made by the government to use. Federal funds are dwindling. There is not much money being disbursed to schools. Schools are required to cut back where they shouldn’t have to, such as curriculum, building repair, teacher salaries. But schools are still required to comply with the law, which is expensive. This is how nasty the government is playing. Utah said they were not going to comply. The government’s response threatened to take away the military bases. The bases are one of the main sources of jobs for Utah residents. There are many ways to fail. These ways are obvious to me. They schools that are failing routinely are those that have high concentration of high minority and poverty, and special education. NCLB would not be as bad if there was more than one way to assess students. As of right now there is only standardized testing. There is a foundation that is trying to dismantle NCLB. Those that want to help in the effort should go to www.fairtest.org.

I think that critical pedagogy is awesome. I think that if it is use correctly it could be a enriching and rewarding for students. I think that it works in some and not other situations. I think that this works oppressed situations.
It works in inner city urban areas because they see injustice all the time. This gives them the chance to speak. They have been taught not to speak. They are not proud of who they are. Critical pedagogy empowers them to be proud and stand up of what they are, who they are, and where they came from. This pedagogy ties in other subjects in as well. It brings in literature, and history. Students are not only learning about self, they are learning about where they came from. They are learning about different cultures and their struggles. They learn that they are not alone in their problems. I feel that this gives students a way to deal with life. I have seen some of the issues that students in inner cities have to deal with. The average person doesn’t have to deal with these issues. I commend those that fight for their lives and still come to school.
I just had a thought. I could see it working in non-oppressed situations. This design would have to be a lot more structured. There would have to be a lot more simulations because in middle class suburbia life is not as tough. Those students are not likely fighting for their lives everyday. They have things that others don’t have. I’m a suburbia girl. I had things that I took for granted. I try not to take things for granted. The design would have to be centered on specific topics gathered by teacher. These students more likely than not won’t think of violence, rape, drugs, and tolerance as issues. I think that a great topic to use critical pedagogy for is tolerance. This is definitely on my mind. I touch upon this topic at least once in every blog. I guess this makes it an important topic to me.
The second pedagogy style I was introduced to was multi genre. I like multi genre because it teaches many different types of genres. I think that the multi genre paper is a nice change from the traditional essay that most students are required to complete. I hate writing traditional papers, the multi genre is a fun piece to write.
Overall I like these two different pedagogies. I think that I will definitely use them in the future.

How I chose to respond to the chapters of Reading, Writing and Rising Up by Linda Christensen was to find passages that struck me in a powerful way.

Untracking English: creating quality education for all students.

“Students in advanced class come to believe they “earned” a privilege that is often given them based on race, class, or gender, while students in remedial classes come to feel they are incapable of completing more difficult work.”

How true is this? This models what society is. There is an upper, middle and low class. This is what a capitalist society is. Tracked classes are the way that people have found to assess performance. I think that some schools have this attitude that the higher acheiveing student need to be rewarded by having the advanced classes. I personally would not want to be in an advanced class, especially the ones at my high school. They required summer reading. At that time I have better things to do than read a book during the summer. But now I can’t put books down. Things do change for the better I guess. I don’t understand tracking. It breeds intolerance. Nobody is better than another person. People should not get special treatment because of something.

“To successfully untrack English classes, teachers must unmask the myths about student ability, redesign the curriculum and change teaching strategies.”

We can’t just untrack all English classes this doesn’t fix the issue. The issue is that students are being separated into ability levels. Another issue is that differing ability levels are learning different things. All students should be learning the same concepts. Untracking classes is a huge task. Everything has to be redesigned. The class has to be cohesive. The techniques have to suit everyone. Untracking is parallel to the idea of inclusive education. This means that all ability levels are in one class. The teacher is responsible for meeting all needs of students. This sometimes is unrealistic. General education teachers are not prepared for the wide range of students. The students that we are talking about are the students with Cognitive impairments to the students who are gifted in one class. This range is hard to handle. But a class with students with learning disabilities and advanced students could function well in the same class.

“The teacher must absolutely believe in the potential of the student, but even more essentially, the teacher must believe in the right of the student to have access to a rigorous education.”

I think this is a problem that is faced in schools today. I don’t think that teachers see the potential in all students. Students can detect these vibes. Who is going to do anything for you if they know you don’t think they can? Why even try. Because what ever they produce is going to go up for ridicule. It just won’t ever be good enough. I know I wouldn’t try if my high school teachers didn’t push and encourage. If there was a teacher that didn’t believe in me I wouldn’t do a darn thing for that teacher. This is they way our future students will think. What does them not doing anything prove? Some would say see I knew they couldn’t do it. It proves that the student is not learning a darn thing, because that student is not being challenged. All students have potential and all students have the right to an education.

“One of the biggest lies about ending ability grouping is that “low” students benefit while “advanced students languish.”

In my classes that I have taken through the College of Education this is one of the teaching strategies that I have been exposed to. This is supposed to help all students. This strategy is called peer tutoring. They idea behind this strategy is that teachers can beat the tar out of a concept and students still don’t get it. If a student who does get it teaches another student who is struggling they may get it faster. Because sometimes a peer can teach a concept in a different way that the teacher didn’t and student grasps concept. I think this works. I really haven’t tried. But schools use a variation of this strategy. Where they have upper grades teach to younger grades.

How I chose to respond to the chapters of Reading, Writing and Rising Up by Linda Christensen was to find passages that struck me in a powerful way.

Essay with an attitude

“I’ve never found a five-step Betty Crocker boxed essay recipe. Because students don’t learn the same way or enter my class with the same background knowledge, or confidence, I need to teach essay writing rather than assign it.”

I think this is a misconception that many teachers make. The easy world would be a 5 step boxed essay recipe. Life in general doesn’t even work this way. So why do we expect our students to fit into a mold that is not even realistic?

Acting for justice:

“But kids don’t have to be cruel; in fact, part of our roles as teachers and administrators in schools is to stop children from torturing others, but more importantly, educating them so that difference doesn’t automatically mean outcast.” 81

Being an outcast is not the place that anyone wants to be. Outcasts are those students who don’t feel they are heard. In my estimation the outcasts are those that are suffering from depression. Depression hurts everywhere and everyone around that person. This illness is not something to take lightly. I should know. I have been suffering from chronic depression for the last 3 years. It is not a good place to be. The mind can make you do stuff that you wouldn’t normally do. Depression leads to suicide. Suicide is not the answer. Suicide is an action that is severe and says “look at me, I’m out of control, help me” If we don’t help then we have lost another student. Kids are the culprits of outcasts. Students set up a class system if you don’t fit you are an outcast. They are outcasts because they are different for one reason or another. If you don’t understand than you don’t have to deal with it. I do not agree with the statement “ignorance is bliss” people want it to be bliss. Being ignorant puts you at a disadvantage. We must help our students see others’ differences as positive not negative. Your students may find that they have something in common with another classmate.

Teaching standard English: whose standard?

“And I didn’t, so I’ve trained myself to play language cop. The problem is that every time I pause, I stop the momentum of my thinking. I’m no longer pursuing content, no longer engaged in trying to persuade or entertain or clarify.”

I think that a lot of our students have turned into their own language cop. They worry some much about how to write it that they ignore the most important aspect which is ideas/content. There is nothing a piece of writing if it doesn’t have good ideas. It is just writing. In my mind content should be the priority. The rest is just stuff to worry about later. This passage is really talking about writing for an authentic purpose.

“when more attention is paid to the way something is written or said than to what is said, studnets’ words and thoughts become devalued. Students learn to be silent, to give as few words as possible for teacher criticism.”

The more someone is beaten the more recluse they become. This is the same for all types of criticism. This the way of abuse, if you are beaten down enough about something you make darn sure that you don’t do that anymore. If comments are not made in a constructive way then they harm not help. Teachers must find something positive to say about a student’s writing. Because if they don’t they are going to loose that student maybe not to suicide but their work will get even worse until they stop doing it altogether. This doesn’t help the student at all. Yeah, it is one less paper you have to read. It is paper that you won’t have to struggle through because of the way it is written. These should not be reason to let that student off the hook for not completing assignments. I don’t want to silence my students I want to make them louder and proud of their writing. I still have poor writing skills, but I still write.
I can say this was very true for me back in high school. I didn’t say much. I was afraid of that criticism. I didn’t want to hear how badly I wrote. I wrote for the words not the ideas. I never expressed my ideas. I didn’t feel I could until I came to college. Students who are beaten down may not get the chance to go to college like I did. They may not feel they have the ability or they may have already dropped out of high school which means they have to get GED.

The tea party: enticing reluctant readers to read

“I’ve witnessed too many students fail because they are poor readers. When we hand students texts or readings, we have to stop expecting that all students come with the tools they need. Let’s take the time to teach students reading and writing skills instead of bemoaning the fact that so many come unprepared.”

I have said this before in at least one of my other blogs that there are no allowances made for disabilities. The tolerance level is very low. At the high school level most people think that there should not be any remedial learning. Students should already know these things. Well, I’m here to say this isn’t true. We should as teachers be prepared to give our students what they need in the classroom. No matter what the need is, we should be able to teach it.

How I chose to respond to the chapters of Reading, Writing and Rising Up by Linda Christensen was to find passages that struck me in a powerful way.

The first chapter in this book was titled “Building community out of chaos”. Once I read this chapter it made lots of sense in this context. I have been in the College of Education before. The classes that I was required to take put a huge emphasis on class community. This is the basis of most discipline plans.

“I couldn’t ignore the toll the outside world was exacting on my students. Rather than pretending that I could close my door in the face of their mounting fears, I needed to use that information to reach them.”

This passage is so true. Most people don’t stop to think of a person’s background and how this may affect that person. In the context of a school district that is faced with many hardships it is hard to ignore the outside stuff. The students bring baggage with them everyday. As teachers we will have to deal with this baggage in some way.

“At first, I worried that inviting students to write about violence might glorify it. It didn’t turn out that way. More often students shared their fears.”

I think the opionion of if we talk about it then we are saying that we condone it. There are so many topics that are not discussed because of this belief. My opionion of this is that not talking about it says we condone it. I think if we don’t talk about issues of sex, violence, rape, abuse. There is also another belief of is we don’t talk about it then it doesn’t happen. Wrong! It does happen and we should talk about it. I think that teachers are scared in way to talk about these issues. I think that we feel we are not adequately trained to discuss issues. We are able to talk and listen to these issues. We as humans that are becoming teachers have ears to listen. If there is a listening ear it is easier to deal with emotionally.

“I came to understand that the key to reaching my students and building community was helping students excavate and reflect on their personal experiences, and connecting them to the world of language, literature, and society.”

Reflecting on our experiences helps us to make sense of it. We have to put meaning to an event to understand it. This is how we make sense of our world. Why is there so much violence? Why did those that destroyed the Twin Towers hate us so much? We come up with reason to explain the answers to these questions. So in having our students reflect they make sense of there world. Then connecting it to literature is easy. The issues that are facing our youth are not new issues. These issues have been faced by others in history. These people have written about there own experiences. If we connect to others that have faced the same things we don’t feel so alone. I think that is the real issue. Is that people feel like they are alone in their problems. I can guarantee that there is at least one other person that has face something similar to you.

Discipline no quick fix

“But sometimes it’s like saying, “I don’t tolerate ants.” I occasionally have ants in my kitchen. I can spray chemicals on them and saturate the air with poison and “not tolerate” them or I can find another solution that doesn’t harm my family or pets in the process. If I kick kids out of class, I “don’t tolerate” their actions, but neither do I educate them. And it works about as well as stamping out a few ants more show up to replace the ones I eliminated. I prepare them for repressive solutions where misbehavior is temporarily contained by an outside authority, not really addressed. Sometimes I am forced to that position, but I try not to use “outside force” as a solution to my classroom disruptions.”

This passage is one that I’m going to carry around with me. I’m going to share it with everyone. It puts “problem” students into perspective. In my experience when I was student teaching I hated sending students out of my class. They were going to miss so much when they left my class. I kept them in the class as long as possible. But in the end they were unable to learn anything due to their behavior. There truly in no quick fix to behavior problems. There isn’t a spray that you use that will work. You can’t just put a Band-Aid on it with out cleaning out the wound first. It will continue to fester until the problem is bigger than you can handle. Everyone needs to understand that sending a student to the principal is like putting a Band-Aid on it, and it is still festering.

“likewise, in working with “problem” students in class, I need to look behind students’ actions.”

My Motto “behavior is communication. I must figure out what this person is communicating to me with this action and/or behavior” there is always a cause to behavior. As a teacher I feel it is our job to figure out what that cause is. Some would argue with me that it is not our job. It is our job because our job is to educate all students not only the ones that want to learn. Our classroom is our domain. If a student enters this domain with behavior then it is my problem. I must use my resources to figure out what that problem might be. We must puncture that festering wound and find the cause. I hate to admit that sending a student to the principal is not going to puncture that wound. The administrators have enough to worry about than to puncture all the festering wounds that are in their school. That equates to at least 500+ festering wounds to puncture. This is only taking into account that each student only has one festering wound. They may have multiple.

In my experience, the more negatively students feel about themselves and their intellectual ability, the more cruel or withdrawn that are in the classroom.”

When someone is mean that usually means that they are trying to hide something that they do not want anyone to see. In my opinion most of the students that have behavior issues are the ones that are struggling in some way. The way it works in the mind is that if I make fun of another than they will feel as bad as I do. I will feel better if they feel pain. This is a vicious cycle. The comments get worse and worse. The more a student acts out the more likely they will be sent to the office. In my opinion this is what they student wants. They want to leave class because they feel inferior to others. They are not confident in their skills. They are the struggling reader or writer. They would rather avoid the work than to struggle with it. Another thing is that asking for help is just not done in a high school setting. They have reps to protect.

DISCLAIMER: This is not intended to offend anyone. I just felt that this topic needed to be addressed.
I have many soap boxes. I seem to be on this one a lot. I think this may be one of my favorites. The soap box is tolerance. Tolerance of all people in the world. In class when we were commenting on student papers from Bangor, MI I was really offended that all I heard about the student whose paper needed lots of improvement in mechanics was “this paper is HORRIBLE” “I can’t believe how HORRIBLE this paper is” “I can’t think of anything positive to say about this paper because of how HORRIBLE it is”. The people who read this paper were not in even the least big understanding. There was no problem solving to figure out why this student had problems writing. There are so many different reasons. It could be that she was an English Language Learner (ELL) (his is the new title instead of English as a Second Language (ESL). She could know how to speak English but could not have mastered writing in the English language as of yet. Also this student could have a disability in written expression. This means that the student has great ideas in their head but they are lost in transition from brain to paper. This could also have been a processing problem. This is where the student just can not grasp concepts such as mechanics, and articles. As a teacher you should be thinking of these things. I felt that there was not much tolerance for imperfection. Well for those that feel that everyone should be perfect writers, you are in for a rude awaking. Not everyone of your students will be perfect writers like the one that used big words. That students paper showed me that they can effectively use a dictionary and a thesaurus. Or he could be gifted in language. Not everyone can be gifted. Those that are going into the English field should reevaulate their biases and prejudices before teaching. This is a guarantee that you will run into students who are ELL and who have a disability in written expression.
This saddens me that future teachers would have the attitude that some of my fellow classmates had. I would not want even my child who does not have a disabilitiy in that person’s class. That person the teacher would not encourage my child. They would beat my child down with the nit picky stuff they would find. This is what makes me angry that general education teachers are ignorant to differences. This is intolerance is uncalled for. I think this is why we have such a high drop out rate in high school. The people the teachers who are suppose to encourage our youth are the ones that are basically forcing our youth to hate school because of the lack of positive feedback.
There is a lack of education for general educators in the topic of tolerance of differing needs This issue is that this lack of education breeds intolerance, pity, and indifference on the behalf of the general educator. I think the intolerance, pity and indifference is bred because of lack of knowledge of people with special needs. I have witness so much detrimental damage done by general educators because of this intolerance, pity and indifference. If only we could avoid these harmful things. I hate to see these things done to students. It makes school so much harder. Students with special needs they need teachers that understand. They don’t need teachers who don’t understand. There is a huge difference between pity and empathy. Teachers need empathy.
I will leave everyone with this thought. “Would you want a teacher saying these things to your kid? “this paper is HORRIBLE” “I can’t believe how HORRIBLE this paper is” “I can’t think of anything positive to say about this paper because of how HORRIBLE it is”. There is something positive that you can say to everyone. I will say something positive to those people that made these comment. You are very good in the mechanic of the English language. You know what you are talking about. You can teach others the mechanics of our language. I encourage everyone to practice saying nice positive things to others. If you are in the practice of saying positive comments then it will come naturally later.

I was very excited when one of the assignments for this class was a unit. I don’t really have much practice in unit planning. The experience I do have is only in planning one lesson not thinking of a two week period. I think this is due to being in special education. The College of Education in the special education program does not require you to do a unit for the special education placements. They only require a unit for the general education placement which is in elementary. Although it would be more work for me I think that they should require us the complete a unit in the special education program, because it would prepare us for the general education placement. The reason I am enjoying putting this pedagogy project together is because I feel I need as much practice as possible on lesson planning. Also if I do it now then I may not have to do as much when I’m a teacher since I will have some lessons prepared already.
I loved putting this unit plan together. I did have some indecision on what I wanted the final writing assignment to be. I really liked both critical pedagogy and multi genre. Then I came to the conclusion that I could do both. This is one time I did use the internet a lot. I wanted to find different genres done by famous people or works. I did not want to use a piece that was unfamiliar to students. Also I do not know very many well known authors of poems, stories, etc. I used things that were familiar and fun to me.
At first I wasn’t intending to tailor this unit to special education but it just ended up that way. I was putting the unit together and the end product was something that could be very easily modified in slight ways to fit a special education class. I said my mantra over and over again but I guess it did not work, because this unit turned out to be more of a special education unit than a general education one. I guess I can see how a person who is use to the general education way would have a hard time thinking in the way of differences. Similarly I have the mind set of special education which I’m always thinking how to accommodate a student continuously, and not looking at the bigger picture.
In another of my blogs I mentioned that lesson design is different in the special education world versus the general education world. Not to bash the accommodation section of the lesson plans. But I must say that it takes a lot more than just a thought to accommodate a student. There are so many accommodations that student’s need that one statement would not cover it. No two students are the same in their disabilities. There are similarities but everyone is different. I think that is something that should be well understood by all teachers.

I think this is a hard questions for me to truly answer well. Since I'm not really going to be a literature/writing teacher specifically. Since I will probably be teaching many subject in my teaching career. I am going into special education. I think that I will be using literature in many ways. I think literature is a powerful teaching tool. Since I enjoy reading I will encourage my students to read as well. I will accomplish this by using literature in my teaching and have opportunities to read on their own. Since reading and writing are difficult for some students, i will take the stance of how powerful reading and writing are in our daily lives. The population that I plan on working closely with need a practical reason for learning things. I would build my lessons around the practical aspect of reading and writing.
I want my students to want to learn. I hope that I can be engaging and fun. I like to see students think on their own. To make new discoveries. (Side information to understand: I have been in College of Ed. Done my TA and one Student teaching) For example: in a 6th grade language arts class that was made up of 10 students with learning disabilities. I used literature in a way that made them discover something about themselves. I used two picture books Don't Laugh at Me, and I'm Gonna Like Me. Our discussion about these two books was awesome. They knew what it was like to be laughed. They did a project on who they are. What is special about them. That it is ok to be different. It does not make them a bad person. They were free to explore who they are in the this classroom without censure. For example one male student expressed himself through the color pink. Don't often find a boy liking pink but I encouraged him to write only in pink.
I want my classroom to be a place where students feel comfortable enough to express themselves in many different ways. I remember some of my own literature classes they were intimidating. I never expressed my view very often, because I did not feel that the class was "safe" to express what I got out of the reading. I probably use journals a lot more at first then move to class discussion.

I think that biggest part of my job will be motivating my students to want to read and write. There are some basic principles of motivation.

Basic principles of motivation exist that are applicable to learning in any situation.

The environment can be used to focus the student's attention on what needs to be learned.

Incentives motivate learning.

Internal motivation is longer lasting and more self-directive than is external motivation, which must be repeatedly reinforced by praise or concrete rewards.

Learning is most effective when an individual is ready to learn, that is, when one wants to know something.

Motivation is enhanced by the way in which the instructional material is organized.


The basic learning principle involved is that success is more predictably motivating than is failure. THis is something to think about when teaching. Are we more motivated when we know we can succeed? Or are we motivated by the challenge. I think that it is different for people. I think that for students with disabilities they are more motivated by sucess because they have probably been told a few times that they are dumb, stupid, you could never do this. Well, once you hear it a few times you start to believe these things. So if they have the belief that they can't do it, then why try?

Click here for more information on Motivating students

I like this idea of coming up with an additional scene for a book. How would I change or add to the story line. There are so many scene I could do. Like the one at the end where she talks to Mr. Freeman about it. I think this scene could be interesting if pursued. The missing scene that I think should be added is: The one that she talks to her parents about the rape.

The lacrosse team stays until one of them gets a teacher. The teacher calls the police. They also called my mom and dad. I didn't want them to at first but then I realized if I had the strength to fight against IT then I could finally talk to my parents. My hand is bleeding all over. Now that the police were called I have to give a statement. I'll have to speak. My parents have showed up.

When I saw my parents I started to cry. The concern on my mom's face was nice to see. My dad was concerned but he didn't know what to do with it. My parents and I talked about that night. I told them about the party I went to. How I got drunk and then the incident that followed. I can finally speak.

This is how the conversation went.

Mom: Melinda what happened?
Me: I was attacked because a guy thought I was spreading rumors about him and it was hurting his reputation.
Mom: Why did he think that you were spreading rumors?
Me: Mom, dad I never told you about that big party that was broken up. I have wanted to tell you about it since August. But I just couldn't speak. I was at that party. I was the one to call the police. But the reason I called never was reported. I called because I was raped. I got drunk and was raped. I was raped by the guy who attacked me today. I told Rachel but she didn't believe me. She was dating him. But she dropped him soon after. He was angry that she or any other girl didn't want him. I was ashamed of what happened. I just couldn't tell anyone.
Mom: Honey, I wish that you had told me. I guess we are not very close. I should have realized something was going on when your grades were falling. Also should have noticed that you were not as social. You always stayed home. I will try to do better from now on. Would you like to go see someone about this?
Me: Yes, I think it might be good.

From that moment on my family was different. I can't really say what exactly but we are different. The difference is a good one. Andy Evans is being charged with rape now. His parents are just shocked. I don't really know what will happen to him, but right now I really don't care. I feel better that everyone knows.